Sunday, January 29, 2017

Dear Game, Don't Patronize Me

To think it only took a whole month to revert back to proper content, and by that I mean content pertaining to the actual point of this blog existing.

For the past few days I've been playing a lot of Yoshi's Woolly World, a game I got last year but never opened because I've been so preoccupied, but I digress. It's a genuinely good game with amazing music and an excellent post-game difficulty curb to everybody who thought Yoshi games couldn't possibly make you want to pull all of your hairs out one by one in a masochistic exercise of frustration and insanity (a slow, painful descent might I add.) Or maybe I just suck. Honestly, that's a perfectly valid explanation too.

Sticking to that theme of sucking at video games, I was playing through a level and repeatedly kept dying only to be greeted by a message. You know the message. "Oh, you must suck. Here's a way to cheat at the level without any intrinsic reward aside from the sinking feeling of us telling you that you need assistance in playing our godforsaken kid's game." The game made the preposition that I should try "Mellow Mode", giving Yoshi wings and more health and, I assume, breaking the game.

Well excuse me for trying. I'm sorry if you designed a game relying on some trial and error and I'm sorry I'm taking precautions to collect every item in the game as per the items' point in existing. I'm wholly invested in the challenges that you are presenting me, game. For you to reciprocate by telling me I suck straight to my face in undeniably bold text is insulting. There's nothing remotely subtle about it.

I invest time and effort into playing a game, and it has the decency to shove me over when I stumble. It's the equivalent of the game indulging you in a trust fall before walking away as you fall to the ground. A reason we play good games is that we feel motivation, but being presented with the game questioning how skilled we are severely tapers that motivation off. I already have a small ego and I don't need it to be put into further submission.

And don't even get me started on "Take a break" messages. Do you know how invested I am in your game? I ask because shoving a message telling me to ease off basically shows how little you care about my engagement to the game. The only time to break that out is Wii Fit because at that point the game is literally telling us we fulfilled our duty for the day. That being said, the fact that the game scaled my Mii to resemble what I can only describe as that girl who turned into a blueberry at the hands of Willy Wonka is a bit discouraging. Now I'm just sad. (Welcome to 2017!)

For the last Interview with Kanekiru, CLICK HERE.
For the last A Thought to Chew on Exeggutor Island, CLICK HERE.
For the Legacy List, CLICK HERE.

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