Thursday, September 29, 2016

Talking Point: Dennis Miller's Mistake

If you ever wondered why the 3DO never sold, a good reason would be a lack of quality control, and by that I mean that sometimes, weird stuff slid through.
While Dennis Miller may have essentially evaporated, in 1994, he was hot off SNL and hosting Dennis Miller Live, which was live and very much featured Dennis Miller. (I'm running out of jokes guys, I'm sorry.) And with that apparently came video games.
Clearly not craving the success of a movie tie-in or literally anything else, Sanctuary Woods Inc., hot off the success of such beloved classics as Victor Vector & Yondo: The Hypnotic Harp, decided to move up in the world and create something truly remarkable.

That is to say that Dennis Miller delivering stilted, terrible jokes in front of a desk as stoically as possible about Asian people thinking satellites were woks. ("In Asia today, a newspaper poll showed that 19% of Chinese people thought that satellite dishes were quote, 'Really, really big woks.'" No joke.)
The gameplay is simple in that there is absolutely no gameplay at all? What, you said a game should be intuitive? You're an idiot, and Dennis Miller can show you the light.
You either choose a topic for Dennis Miller to wisecrack about (though calling it a wisecrack is an exaggeration) or allow the game to cycle through them all randomly, which is great, because you can leave it on and do anything else.
If the premise somehow managed to excite you, perhaps the five second pauses between each joke, accompanied by stock robot noises will seal the deal. Thankfully, though, our hearts can rest in the funkaliciously acid backgrounds that frame poor Dennis in his window of shame. The back of the box says that the game's recommended for mature audiences only, so back off, kids: this game's a little to off the wheels for your underdeveloped minds to comprehend.
I think it's a safe assumption the game didn't do that great, though Sanctuary Woods Inc. also had the second best thing up their sleeves: two games produced under Shelley Duvall, because we needed more games from people who haven't done anything in the past fifteen years.
If you're getting nostalgic for Dennis Miller and SNL for some reason, you should check out my somehow even worse blog dedicated to Saturday Night Live right HERE! I will be seeing you on there pretty shortly.

For the last A Thought to Chew on Sonic Unleashed and level progression, CLICK HERE.
For the last Interview with Final Smash, CLICK HERE.
For the last Talking Point on Japanese pop music and The Legend of Zelda, CLICK HERE.
For the last Dear Nintendo in regards to being hip on social media, CLICK HERE.

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