Day 16. Let's do this.
Ya missed yesterday's? It's right over here, ya dip.
Today's choice is Alton Brown reviews Amazon's dumbest kitchen gadgets from The Daily Dot.
Alton Brown, to those who don't know (WHICH YOU SHOULD), is a celebrity chef, but while others have a delicate cadence, he's only a notch or two down from Gordon Ramsey. He always carries with him high levels of snark (I don't know why I love the snark, for some reason), and this video gives him the opportunity to go all out on what he dubs "Unitaskers": useless kitchen items that "are basically created for one job and one job only. You buy these items, you use them, and then they simply pile up until you have to tear down your house and build another one."
The sentence couldn't be more true, as what follows is a parade of completely pointless kitchen gadgets ranging from a strawberry slicer to straight-up Wolverine salad tossers, accompanied by such rave reviews as "Very sturdy. I'm just not sure what I bought these for."
As always, each one is accompanied by some more of Alton's classic disses. Perhaps the best line is "This brings us to the Veggetti (pronounced -ge), or is it Veggetti (pronounced -je)? I'm not really comfortable saying either of those words..."
In addition, it ends with an enjoyable change of heart for the accursed Rollie. Y'know, that weird thing that makes eggs into a very phallic roll. Quite frankly, as a Cecily Erker in the comments section put it, "The Rollie is a glorified fleshlight", just to kind of put it into perspective.
Just don't get put off by the Impact font.