Thursday, August 20, 2015
Dissecting the Sonic Showdown: Silver v. Cream
Besides sounding like some bizarre mid-20th century barbershop treatment ("Dahling, would you like ya hair silver or creamed?"), there isn't really much to say.
Both characters are, quite frankly, about as usable as the congealed fat stuck to the bottom of a tin of Spam.
Cream is a rabbit who does absolutely nothing. According to the Wiki, her likes are "TV" and "playing make-believe" and her dislikes are "Others being sad" and "Scary people". Geez, Sonic Team, you're really breaking some new ground, ain'tcha? In addition, the first catchphrase listed in the quotes section is "Please, take it easy on me!" She also has a sidekick named "Cheese".
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's awful.
Moving on to Silver, there's not much more to say about him either. It's Sonic dyed gray with a bleached piece of cannabis slapped on his forehead.
He's also 14. I don't have a good joke about that, I just thought that was a terrible design choice.
I guess it's kinda cool that he has psychic powers? Quite frankly, we've seen it all before, so I couldn't care less. At least he can throw around the cars that he is legally unable to drive.
Oh yeah, he was also in Sonic '06. You know, the most critically-acclaimed Sonic game of the 21st century with agreed concensus on its brilliance.
I don't care. Throw it to Silver. He'l be dead next round anyway.
Here is ze last one.