Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Tumblr Repost #3: Two Sexy Cat Games

The third of my four Tumblr posts was a bizarre tribute to "sexy cat games" for National Cat Day, which was apparently October 29th. As per most entries, the absurdity relies on our neighbors to the East and their bizarre games whilst taking repeated jabs at their odd albeit eccentrically impressive culture.
It's also probably the best of the Tumblr posts despite the fact that it's one of the most risqué things I've written besides my, err, fanfiction how-to guide, but that stone is probably best left unturned for the better of society.
What I find particularly odd about the entry is the abrupt, random ending to it. I guess I just assumed nobody would read it anyway or that getting deep into it would result in my death. (It's most likely a combination of the two.)
Anyway, here it is.
As someone who has been to the mystical land of Japan, I can safely say that they love cats. Don’t believe me? Here’s a quick list to prove it:
-They have a cat that runs a train station.
They also have several video games involving cats. Unfortunately, a select few decided to take the creepy route, hence this list was created. So, to celebrate National Cat Day, I apologize.

El Dorado Denki (1985) - Possibly the First To Feature Cat Ladies
Let’s start by going all the way back to where it all began; 1985. The year marked the Golden Age of video gaming; the NES had shown its face for the first time in North America, Super Mario Bros. hit store shelves, and video gaming emerged once more from the hellhole of the Atari landfill. With this year of magic, though, came El Dorado Denki, a PC game that never saw international lands, and for obvious reasons.
The game begins when your BFF, Akira, calls you over. God knows why, maybe to pop a couple of Brewskis or something. Next thing you know, the dude’s dead in his closet. Being a nosy Nelly, you sneak a peek at a computer program he’s been working on, and you find a couple of clues, to discover his sister’s been kidnapped and you have to get her back by taking the trail to El Dorado. On your trail, you encounter Amazonekos, or “Amazon cats”. Why?
The game is not as perverted as you might expect from Japan, but you still end up doing some spying. There’s plenty of naked cat ladies, too, including the classic “tied-ups” and “butt-shots”.
 By the way, before you dismiss this game as an amateur adult game and put your tail between your legs in protest, this was made by Enix as part of a programming contest….. Hm.
Let’s Meow Meow (2004) - The granddaddy (or should I say Cat-daddy) of sexy cat games
Let’s Meow Meow is arguably the most well-known sexy cat game, but I still couldn’t miss the only opportunity to talk about it.
Imagine you are a college student. You freaking love cats, and if you didn’t, then why the heck are you reading this? Thinking on behalf of his insane Japanese mind, he decides “I WANNA  CAT GIRL!” Before you know it, a mysterious box shows up at your footsteps. A bunch of meows are heard inside, so you assume it’s a cat.
Nope. It’s a cat-girl.
She’s in a box. Yeah, I guess that’s normal considering she’s part cat, but she’s also naked and sleeping. Cat mannerisms? Yes. Any less weird? Nope.
I just exposition-ed the crap out of you, and I regret to inform you that it keeps going. I’ll end with this statement; the cat-girl, Ibuki, is also a maid. What a way to kill two birds with one stone, Japan, you just wanna appeal to everybody, eh?

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