Wednesday, April 1, 2015

A Thought to Chew: Why Bubsy 3D is An Avant-Garde Masterpiece

Anytime I write one of these personal opinion posts, I start to really wonder who even cares. So... I decided to try to dig deeper in the lengthy trail of my subconscious, finding a little gem with the hated, obnoxious character of Bubsy. Oh, of all the characters I've seen, he's lampooned the most. I've already spent time typing out a weird post due to my opinions on him (which apparently is right here), but as the yeast of a loaf of bread rises, I feel so have I. For platformers I have undying love, and I thought I'd check out Bubsy oncemore.
Kidding aside, Bubsy isn't that bad. Even with all that I criticized it, I really think it's better than Mario.
You might be thinking, "Really?" but seriously, here me out. If you know anything about me, it's that I love cats. Bubsy? He's a cat. And that makes him hella-cool. It took Mario until 2013 to pick up a cat costume, but he was too late to the party for me to care. Check out this literal cool cat with his exclamation mark T-shirt, showing his edginess as he ends each sentence with such a harsh remark. BAM! BOOM! Exclamation marks, amirite?!  Then there's his lack of pants, showing his complete disregard for authority. Talk about a law-breaking MOFO.


The games were essentially Mario, and in my book, that means they were awesome. I've never played them, but all you have to do is look and you'll see his sheer brilliance. Heck, he pioneered the 3D platformer genre. What, are you saying that Super Mario 64 came before it? Too bad, because Bubsy just took it a whole step further.
Notice the slick graphics. The game was so lampooned for having so-called "horrendous visuals," but are you kidding me? They're brilliantly minimalist and psychologically upstanding as we question where we are, what we are doing, what our life has come to. The graphics have even become popular in current days with the rise of indie games and their stellar, nostalgic, sharp-cornered, pixelly graphics. If you ask me, it all circles back to our hero Bubsy.
I stand by him as a work of art. I won't be the first to admit that the controls are harsh and the animation stiff, but he was a PIONEER, a FOUNDING FATHER of the genre. You don't expect James Madison to write like Hemingway, so why expect a game of this nature to be as perfect as all of its clones? If you ask me, Nintendo went forward in time, saw the game, and thought "DANG! Those visuals are freaking ACE!" then went forward and made a cheap rip-off of it. Dirty move, Miyamoto. You should be ashamed.
All in all, the game is amazing. Seriously. I'm dead serious. You just can't tell because you're staring at a computer screen and not my face, but trust me, it's dead serious.
As a sidenote, I recently got into acrostic poems. I experimented a little, so why don't you try to find a message?

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