Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Talk to the Hand! 2 Games That Took Talking to the Next Level

Talking to video games has become extremely commonplace nowadays. It has become such a prominent part of gaming that thousands of games rely on voice recognition, whether you're talking to a pet in Nintendogs or trying to make a Pikachu do ANYTHING BECAUSE IT NEVER LISTENS TO YOU AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE... in Hey, You! Pikachu. Even outside of gaming, voice recognition is everything; why else do people buy so many phones, anyway?
Back to gaming, though, there have been plenty of odd ways talking into a microphone affects gameplay, and here are two semi-obscure ones that utilize it for some.... interesting results.
Takeshi's Challenge Makes You Sing Karaoke
One of the earliest games to utilize the microphone built into the Nintendo Famicom was Takeshi no Chosenjo, or Takeshi's Challenge as we lovingly call it in the West. For years, it was a completely obscure game, but rose to prominence through Youtube, and most of you have probably already heard it by now, especially with JonTron's video released earlier this year. Regardless, I'm gonna talk about it anyway.
The game was developed by Taito for release in 1986, with the "cooperation" of Japanese actor, Takeshi Kitano. Notice how the "cooperation" is in quotation marks; he hardly did anything for the game, and it was created entirely from what Takeshi said in a single meeting, during which he was drunk. Rather than wait for Takeshi to sober up, though, Japan did what they always have done: they made it anyway.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Me Rambling

I don't have that much important to say, but I feel that no justice is done by posting mediocre posts (with the occasional good one standing out). People come to this blog to read, to enjoy, to celebrate gaming, and here I am, half-asleep. Many people, I feel, are patiently waiting for something that will never come, like Half-Life 3 (Ahhh burn!!!!). All this stuff that I'm saying doesn't matter; it's a block of text, yet people enjoy it.
(Casual readers: be warned. This is gonna get really text-heavy.)
The Internet is a beautiful medium to cast one's work onto. It doesn't matter who you are, where you are, what you do, there will always be people there. Ten days ago today, I wrote of my 3000 milestone, and just ten days later, another 100 came up. I don't want to say that I have pride, but I do; lost in the online world, filled with so many other creators, people actually see my stuff. It's amazing how a tiny blog from some town hidden away in the US gets noticed by people around the world.
While not as prestigious as, say, your own publications, the online world is a place to get yourself out there. It doesn't matter if there are three people who see your stuff or three million people seeing your stuff; all that matters is that people have seen your work, have read your writings, have watched your videos, etc. Meet new people, work with them, make friends, and meet people. Even if I'm not the next big thing, I at least want to get out there.
Tangent: I'm sorry if all of this stuff is getting kind of weird, I'm just writing the first things that come to mind.
In conclusion, just don't be afraid to try to step out. I spent years jumping from blog to blog, and I finally found my place. You don't have to have millions of fans to be content as a creator; what matters is that you make someone's day, that you interest people, that you let yourself be known by more people than those you physically meet. The world is a blank canvas, and it needs somebody, anybody, to finish.
Crap just got deep back there.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


Well, it's only been slightly over a year and a half, but I now have 3000 views. Such a tiny milestone, but still amazing. Do you know what that means? Thousands of people flocked to an outdated website to read a series of one-sided, snide comments written by some guy who is epitomizing laziness.
Why are you people even here? I dunno. Either way, I love each and every one of you people!
Anyway, there's a few tiny announcements:
First off, I doubt that the Tumblr will become as prominent as initially perceived. For one thing, it's extremely difficult to get out there. Secondly, the trafficking on the Tumblr wasn't as good as I thought, so I'll probably just stick to my guns and stay over here. It was really frustrating for me to use around an hour working on a post that hardly anyone noticed.
I initially considered making it a multi-network Tumblr, where I would have some of my "collaborators" post alongside me, but that would just be a burden on everyone. While I may try again in the distant future, as of right now I have no intentions of continuing to post there.
Secondly, some of the old segments will be making a return. While this blog has more lists than a cashier prints out every year, I really want to brig back my old fixtures, such as "Video Game Characters IRL" (but probably with a jazzier title) and "Questions that NEED to be Answered."
However, I also plan on a brand-new series, and I'm really hyped about it. A while back on the Tweeter I mentioned a new article entitled "(Their) First Outing." My intentions are that I will get some Youtube friends to talk about and reflect upon their first videos and early Internet memories. Think of it like Youtube Nation's "My First Upload." (RIP YTN 2013-2014 RIP IN PEACE)
I'm pulling all the strings like Jim Henson in an insane asylum. You guys are gonna get some stuff that you've never seen before, stuff creators hardly remember or want to forget ever happened. I'm freaking sadistic with this.
Lastly, there's another blog that I hope will one day see the light of day. I've had many blogs; there used to be a Lego blog when I was ten, and two AQWorlds blogs when I was 11 (Terrible sh!t right there), and most recently, Questionable Confectionaries and that Meow thing. (High-five if you remember Memecyclopedia!) I want to have one that actually works out, though. I'm thinking of a more personal blog where I voice my opinions concerning random things in my life with the same level of facetiousness that you've come to expect of me. Maybe it will come out next summer? I dunno. I've just wanted to do something like this for a long time.
Anyway, thanks so much for 3000! Here's to another 1000!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Year Round-Up: The Best and the Worst

So, it's December. Winter is in the air. Presents are, well, present. (canned laughter and applause) What better time to evaluate the blog? Not much more is to come of this year, anyway.
I've had this blog for around one and a half years, and man, it's been a good time. With just short of 3000 views, life is going pretty sweet. I decided that it would be fun to look back on the best of the best and the ones that live in infamy, so without further ado, here are the ten best and three worst posts of the past!
10. Animal Crossing: New Leaf Coelacanth Fishing Tips
Date of Publication: July 16th, 2013
While it may be simple and not as amazing as some of my other works, it was the first of my early posts to receive attention. While most posts had five views, this one drew in just short of 50 views.
The article itself is terrible, in my opinion. It's basically a short list of "tips" on catching the elusive coelacanth, all of which are pretty widely known. It's short, it's stupid, it's dumb, but for me, it's nostalgic. While by my current standards it's a flaming turd of an article, it launched me into semi-obscurity instead of purely hipster garbage, which is fine by me.

9. Video Game Characters IRL: Funky Kong
Date of Publication: February 12th, 2014
Marking the beginning of a series that spanned a whopping two articles, VGC IRL was an interesting article, to say the least. Using expert examining skills, I reached the conclusion that Funky Kong is the real-world equivalent of that high roommate you'll hang with in college.
It's a good example of what I like to call "The Intermission Period", wherein the posts bridged the gap between my current style and they-who-we-best-not-say-by-name. It's half-decent, utilizing a lot of the weird and stupid wisecracks, but the moment you read the word "Golly!", you know that this thing is of questionable quality. Regardless, I find myself enjoying the article; who knows, I might even make a follow-up to the series.....?
8. A Video Game Quote A Day: The Legendary Starfy Edition
Date of Publication: November 22nd, 2014
In an attempt to update more frequently, I proposed a challenge to myself wherein I would do a weekly encore of the failed "A Video Game a Day" blog page.
It failed.
I was too apathetic to complete it, and also left my reference pages at home, when, at the time, I was up in our northern neighbor, Canada. Nevertheless, despite the agonizingly-betrayed attempt, the article was pretty solid. Short, stupid, and silly, I gave some more of my "brilliant" commentary regarding two quotes from a video game series for kids, the highlight being an image. (You know that it's kinda dumb if the best part is an image.) Easily overlooked, it was a job application for Moe Grommet (not actual last name) about his yearning to make a monopoly off of sea-urchin nachos. Like, he really, really, REALLY wants those nachos. There are not words to express how much he wants to sell nachos, so you'll have to read it to find out....