Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Thanksgiving Special: What I'm Thankful For

Haha, look at this guy! Saying he's gonna commit again, but still refuses to! Loser!
Stop rubbing it in. I know I suck at this stuff, but it's gonna come eventually. I'm up in Canada, and forgot my notes for the next few quote articles, so I'm kinda screwed.
Regardless, I knew I had to post something. I mean, it's Thanksgiving. There is no excuse.
So here it is. A list of things I'm thankful for.
Let's be frank. 2014's been a rough year. The world is a terrible place. It's hard to deny that 2014 has been a terrible year in history, but somebody has to find some stuff to be happy about. So, uh, here's some stuff.
I am thankful that......
Super Smash Bros. U and 3DS are amazing.
Brawl was okay. It never really felt right, though. It was good, sure, and it brought a lot of fun, but I never really got that into it. That can be partially blamed on the fact that I'm about as competitive as an ironing board, but I digress. Super Smash Bros. U is probably one of the best Wii U games I've ever played. Beautiful graphics, amazing music, and perfect gameplay. Also, Smash Potato. You gotta mention Smash Potato. Heck, that's one of the best things; there are so many weird and wonderful things you can do. I mean, it's a fighting game, so why is there a game where you throw trees in an attempt to send your opponent flying? Because freaking logic, that's why.
Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire are also amazing.Haven't even gotten the chance to play it yet, but lemme tell you, it has to be good. People didn't just wait a decade for a lackluster game to pop out of Game Freak's hands. Screw IGN, there wasn't "too much water", you pricks. It's awesome.
Also, this is the best GIF ever.

Japan is still weird.
Seriously, where would we all be if Japan wasn't as crazy as that one uncle that always shows up at Thanksgiving? You know the one.
It may sound weird, but I'm serious. Japan's weirdness is one of the greatest things I know. They've been trapped on a tiny island for thousands of years. No outside connections until a couple hundred years ago. Had they gotten another few years of isolation, who knows what else they could possibly do? These people have made freaking dresses that turn into putting greens, okay? You can't top that.
Except with video games. As one of the few things to siphon out Japanese culture to Western audiences, video games to a pretty darn good job. Had it not been for them, there would be no Mario, no Legend of Zelda, no Kirby, no Katamari Damacy, no nothing. All we'd have would be Call of Duty. Ugh. Heck, without Japan, video gaming might not even exist. Sure, there was the American Atari, but look where that got us. It drove gaming into the dirt, and it wasn't until Nintendo, like a knight in shining armor, thrust the market out of the garbage better than a Russian pole-vaulter. So, in short, thank you. Thank you so much.
The Internet is Still Weird.
Remember that "Too Much Water" thing from the IGN review? What if I were to tell you that the Internet did that? It has the magic power of taking the dumbest things possible and blowing them up higher than Hungary's post-WWII inflation rate. I mean, seriously, the Internet can find anything. A picture of a man examining a piece of wood? Check. A stock photo of a guy having a heart attack? Double-check. The hero of Hyrule moving to Pennsylvania? Oh yeah, you gotta check that one. Another stock photo of an old guy in pain? Most def. What about the world's most awkward yearbook photo? Pretty solid idea, but what if you were to, say, add a cat? Perfect. I swear, the Internet is a truly wonderful place, and as a person who uses it as a form of escapism (I mean seriously, this stuff you're reading? All escapism.), it's amazing.
Life is amazing.
In a year, I've done so many awesome things. I've been to China and Japan. My dad got a job in Canada. I've met so many awesome people. SOMANYFREAKINGAWESOMEPEOPLE. This is one of the best years in my life. Of course, I haven't been alive very long, sure, but seriously? It's going as smooth as Kenny G.

Now stop reading this. Go and enjoy a day off. Just because I'm on the Internet doesn't mean you should be. Get out, meet new people, and in a few hours, shove some food up your beautiful face. Don't worry about the regret; it will come in tomorrow.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

A Video Game Quote a Day (11/22): The Legendary Starfy Edition

Reference this post if you don't know what the heck is going on.
Starfy! While I did complain about this game quite a bit in one of my old reviews, I think it is a fun and enjoyable little romp of a game. Of course, it isn't exactly Kirby or Mario, but as a series, it is almost as enjoyable. It's cute, it's silly, it's Japanese..... It's weird, which I suppose is expected of the Japanese.... Hey look! A weird Japanese cleaning device! Anyway, there was a sheet with some quotes on it.... and by some I meant there were only two.... and I'll write some vaguely-beloved nonsense regarding them. I assume that's why you're here, anyway. I mean, what other reason would you be reading this? Seriously, what? No, I just wanna know, dangit!
Oh, I bow before your fighting skills, Master. I will never forget this kindness. I am Shurikit!
Uh, dude? I'm a star. I don't fight. I just kind of bounce around. Fighting? What do I look like, Little Mac? I'm a star. Literally. An effing star. I don't care what you think, 'cuz I mean it's not like I do much. I'm floating around with a freaking clam and space rabbit, so just GTFO, okay? I just want some nachos.
Heheh, thanks! Persistence is our specialty... That, and homemade sea-urchin nachos!
Good to know. I suppose that every cocktail party you host ends with a visit to the ER to extract all the spikes from your throat? Also, can we briefly acknowledge that Moe makes nachos? You know, because his name is Moe?..... No? Okay, fine. I guess my jokes are pretty lame, but I would think you would've figured it out by now.
Also, what kind of specialty is persistence? Sure, slap that on a job application, I'm sure Wal-Mart would be stoked.
Lastly, I didn't know how to end this post, so here's a random GIF from the weird folks of Tumblr. There are some things that even I fail to understand.

An Early Thanksgiving Apology

Yeah, so I've been busy. I might be dead. To be completely honest, I'm not sure. Let me check... Nope. I'm dead.
(Falls to floor)
Jokes aside, I haven't done much on here lately. School is dictating my everyday life, and it kinda sucks. Most of you guys are probably checking less and less. I would like to apologize. I definitely want to get on a better routine, but it's really hard. I want to do something every week, but I really can't.
It is, however, almost thanksgiving. That means almost a week of nothingness. Hopefully, I can do something there. In fact, starting tomorrow (or maybe today, hmm?), I'm gonna do a special encore of "A Video Game Quote a Day" (or whatever it was called). After cleaning out my closet quite extensively, I discovered a pile of paper with quotes from a handful of games, including Pokemon Black and White, The Legendary Starfy, and Paper Mario: Sticker Star. Of course, considering that these posts were typically short, I'm gonna try to extend them to an average-length post. It'll be a good time, I swear. I would shake on it, but I can't reach through the computer screen at risk of shattering it and being put in asylum for breaking my computer on an empty promise.
Anyway, tune in soon!

I love you!