Monday, July 21, 2014

Guide to Japan: Fast Food

Fast food. Around the world, McDonald's, Taco Bells, Wendy's, Domino's...... Chains sell millions of food everyday from the US to Japan, but some items never made it to the usual market. Some items were made only for their designated countries, and today, I am here to explore some of the greatest fast food you can only find in Japan.

To start off your large meal, try the MacMango Fizz, MacFizz Blue Lemonade(?), or MacFizz Passion Orange. Hungry for fries? Try the "Mega Potato" size, popular in Japan for "potato parties" in which people gather at a party with a table full of french fries and NOTHING ELSE. Geez Japan, you cray-cray.
Obviously, though, you're gonna need more than just a drink and a bucketful of fries, so try the Shrimp Fireo, a burger with a patty made of deep-fried shrimp. Or maybe a burger with meat sauce that may or may not have been regurgitated from a cat. (Judging by the appearance, we really don't want to know.) If you want to prove your burliness, try the Quarter Pounder with habanero and tomato and hope that your tongue doesn't spontaneously get engulfed in flames. Maybe you wanna try the BLT
with mozzarella or bacon lettuce burger, but obviously don't forget the Teriyaki Mac.
What if the jet lag messes with your head, though? Say you wake up at 2:00 in the morning with the craving for pancakes? Not to fear, fro McDonald's offers the Petit pain cake or ridiculously adorable Oekaki Happy Hotcake, with icing syringes to draw an adorable face on. I mean seriously, if that isn't the most effing cute pancake you've ever seen.
To wrap up your meal, get a dessert of a melon-flavored MacShake. Because everything in Japan has a melon-flavored variant.

Domino's Pizza
Maybe you want to bring your friends out for some pizza, who knows? If you do, we wholeheartedly recommend trying the Mayo Jaga pizza topped with Japanese mayonnaise, which is known to be a lot sweeter than US mayo. Perhaps you should try the Camembert Mille-Feuille Shrimp pizza with Camembert cheese topped with shrimp, tomato, and broccoli. It also comes with the option of a basil sauce-base in place of the typical tomato sauce.
You could also try the BBQ Garlic Chicken pizza, fairly self-explanatory but scientifically proven to keep both vampires and your girlfriend away. What about Goryeo Galbi topped with beef ribs and
paprika? Maybe the Avocado Shrimp with pancetta, shrimp, tomato, and a mayonnaise-avocado sauce? Perhaps the artesian Basil Shrimp on flatbread with basil and pamodoro sauce?
Of course, the best option for only the most gnarly of men is Lasagna Pizza, lovingly smashing two Italian classics into a pizza oven.

Fun fact: KFC is a Japanese tradition. For Christmas. Orders are placed months ahead, and lines stretch out the door for that finger-licking flavor.
Of course, maybe little anecdotes aren't your thing. Well, suck it or suck this Red Curry Twister wrap sandwich, either way. Maybe get an onigiri rice ball with soy sauce flavor to wash down your shame, and stuff a sweet and spicy soy sauce-flavored chicken sandwich.

Who doesn't know this classic Eastern fast food restaraunt? Everybody, but that won't stop me from mentioning their Attack on Titans-inspired MEGA BURGER. I mean just LOOK at that thing. It's a freaking mutant burger among all the others.

Dunkin' Donuts
While China may have Dry Pork and Seaweed donuts, it can't possibly compete with Japan's Mochi Ring Donuts. Seriously, a ring of mochi? Sign. Me. Effing. Up. Whoever invented this was a genius. It defies Beyonce's logic; if you like it, you don't just put a ring on it, you make a ring OUT OF IT. My mind is blown.

Starbuck's Coffee
Black Sesame Green Tea Frappuccino.
That's it.
What? You want more information?! You know it's amazing, and that's all there is to it.


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