Monday, July 21, 2014
Obviously, though, you're gonna need more than just a drink and a bucketful of fries, so try the Shrimp Fireo, a burger with a patty made of deep-fried shrimp. Or maybe a burger with meat sauce that may or may not have been regurgitated from a cat. (Judging by the appearance, we really don't want to know.) If you want to prove your burliness, try the Quarter Pounder with habanero and tomato and hope that your tongue doesn't spontaneously get engulfed in flames. Maybe you wanna try the BLT
What if the jet lag messes with your head, though? Say you wake up at 2:00 in the morning with the craving for pancakes? Not to fear, fro McDonald's offers the Petit pain cake or ridiculously adorable Oekaki Happy Hotcake, with icing syringes to draw an adorable face on. I mean seriously, if that isn't the most effing cute pancake you've ever seen.
To wrap up your meal, get a dessert of a melon-flavored MacShake. Because everything in Japan has a melon-flavored variant.
You could also try the BBQ Garlic Chicken pizza, fairly self-explanatory but scientifically proven to keep both vampires and your girlfriend away. What about Goryeo Galbi topped with beef ribs and
Of course, the best option for only the most gnarly of men is Lasagna Pizza, lovingly smashing two Italian classics into a pizza oven.
Of course, maybe little anecdotes aren't your thing. Well, suck it or suck this Red Curry Twister wrap sandwich, either way. Maybe get an onigiri rice ball with soy sauce flavor to wash down your shame, and stuff a sweet and spicy soy sauce-flavored chicken sandwich.
What? You want more information?! You know it's amazing, and that's all there is to it.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Anyway, I'm back!....... And then I'll be gone for two weeks...... But compromises must be made! I'll be going to Tokyo on Tuesday, so I might not be able to update the blog as frequently. However, I'll try to use the Twitter, so use of that is most appreciated.
Now go follow me.
I have a minute.
Anyway, because I'll be in Tokyo, I seriously have to at least make a sequel to my first Guide to Japan post. So, I'm doing that.
(Geez, couldn't be more frank with that, could you?)
So, one of the most interesting things about Tokyo is, well, the city, buildings, culture, video games........ and, of course, candy! Some awesome, some strange, some, err, baffling? So I compiled a list of ridiculously strange and amazing sweets right off the shelves of a Japanese 7/11.
Popin' Cookin' Sushi
Considering that sushi is essentially Japan's pride and joy, and I mean who doesn't love sushi, they decided to make a box containing the ingredients to a delightful platter of sour sushi candy, complete with seaweed and fish roe! So cute!
Ramune Tube Bubble Gum
In all seriousness though, I don't even know what to think of this. Japan, if you want us to take you guys seriously, then WHY DO YOU DO THIS?! It's one of the most ridiculous things I've seen today and I effing LOVE it.
Fuwarinka Rose Gum
Candy Bento Box
Kanro Colored Pencil Candy
Hmph. Thought not.
Unchi-kun Lucky Poop Candy
The Japanese factories just keep pushing out new ideas, and they all seem pretty sTURDy.
Okay, I'll stop.
Japan has always had this weird love of adorable feces; games like the classic WTF game Toilet Kids, where the protagonist is launched into a different dimension by the power of a toilet and fights some enemies that unfortunately aren't made of chocolate. It's almost a deity in Japan, and who wouldn't love poop if it was this freaking adorable in real life? He's even smiling for Christ's sake!
Kani Pan is a piece of bread shaped like a crab.
That's it. Literally. I wasted hours and hours* searching for a singular picture of a piece of bread.
Supitol Tongkat Ali Gum for Men
*It actually is said to enlarge penis size. Pfft. Nonsense.
Echizen Kurage Cookies
Genghis Khan Caramel
Naturally, we honor him with caramel candies, but not just any caramel. No, that would be folish and disrespectful. How about lamb-flavored caramel? Sure, that's not weird at all!
Anyway, I will push myself to post another part of the "Guide to Japan" series tomorrow, maybe even two, who knows? Also, there's no time for an interview, unfortunately, so maybe two or three in September? After all, it IS my birthday on the 11th, so maybe some miracles may happen? #WishfulThinking