Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Personal List: Top 10 Games that Weren't Meant to Be

All around the world, people like myself rejoiced! A new Hoenn game! Omega Ruby and whatever-its-name-is-Sapphire. (I don't do much research, shut up.) They got the bad-ass mega-evolutions on the front..... I likey.
Pokefans have been anticipating this since the game's debut. Maybe a DS remake? Fingers crossed. A Wii remake? Fingers crossed. 3DS remake..... looks like our wish finally came true.
(Also ironic: today's Hoenn Sound day on HGSS!)
To celebrate, let's take a look at the games that just never were to be.
Time to get sad.

10. The Last Guardian
Team ICO! Considered one of the greatest (small) video game companies, producing only two games- Shadow of this Colossus and, of course, ICO- some of the most famous PS2 titles.
First off, I've never played either of the games. I've never played a PS2 game for that matter. Even so, this looked like an amazing game.
It was to be part pet simulation, part adventure. However, it's been stuffed up Sony's ass, trapped in development hell for quite a while, so chances are it won't be hitting store shelves anytime soon, if ever. Here's hoping it's not going to be Duke Nukem Forever! Speaking of which...
9. Duke Nukem Forever
I've never played a Duke Nukem game, let alone a rated M game, so I speak more on behalf of all the fans than myself when I say "DEAR GOD, WHY?!" Gearbox Software practically flipped us the bird when it hit store shelves after over a decade. The game was a mess, to say the least.
Furthermore, the long delay meant more than just waiting. Who was the audience? 17+. Those people were by then almost 30, probably trying to start a family. This games' humor was notoriously inappropriate, so how well would it fare to a middle-aged man?
About as well as, well, Duke Nukem.

8. Metroid Dread
Oddly enough, this project planned for the Nintendo DS in 2006 is one that we know almost nothing about. It was planned to be a sidescrolling 2D Metroid game, following up on Metroid Fusion. Even more interesting is that Ninty has refused to confirm or deny its existence, and Yoshio Sakamoto is secretive about the game's whereabouts.
Who even knows if the game will see the light of day? Unlike series with such a stopping point s Duke Nukem, there have been games in the series that continued to pop out, and with one as big as Metroid, who knows what will happen?

7. Banjo Threeie
Ever since the release of Nuts and Bolts, the idea of a true Banjo Threeie seems pretty slim. ever since Microsoft made the unfortunate decision of buying the entirety of Rareware, they've had nothing to do but spit out mediocre games, showing Rare off like the prize cow at a farm show. After throwbacks such as the mildly-censored Conker Reloaded and Perfect Dark Zero, we aren't sure if Rare will ever truly return to its original heyday, but there is recent speculation of a next-gen next-gen (yes, twice) Banjo game coming to the Xbox One, so who knows? (Probably have to buy one of the blasted things.)
6. Sonic Crackers
I know what you're thinking, but unfortunately, Sega has no plans to make Sonic-flavored crackers, so hold on for a minute on that train of thought.
The game was a scrapped 2D Sonic game for the Sega Genesis in which Tails and Sonic are banded together by a, err, ring thing. To be honest, I'm not very familiar with retro games, but from what I know, it is often thought to have been turned into Knuckles Chaotix.
And... that's pretty much it. It looks nice, probably plays nice..... HEY, DON'T YOU GET ANGRY AT ME FOR MY LACK OF RESEARCH! YOU'RE THE ONE READING THIS DUMB STUFF ANYWAY!
5. Super Mario's Wacky Worlds
Admittedly, Phillips had single-handedly ruined some of Nintendo's most famous series, turning Mario into a womanizing plumber off to work at hotels and made the Legend of Zelda look three times worse in three different games. As such, it's pretty obvious why SMWW was cancelled, but it's quite unfortunate.
In actuality, the game was nearing completion. The graphics are surprisingly gorgeous, too; I mean, just look at that sky effect and the reflections.. MMmmm, it's just byoutiful! Ninty was actually pretty impressed, but seeing the failure of the previous games, gave the game a thumbs down, but it was eventually leaked online. (At least it fared better than Super Mario 64 DD.)
4. VB Mario Land
Remember the Virtual Boy? Of course you do, all the cool kidz (so cool they use a 'z'! Darn tootin'!) had one- Oh wait, they didn't.
Much like probably half the VB's planned library, VB Mario Land looked promising. Sure, the red and black was a complete eyesore, but other than that, the gameplay looked solid, the graphics were fair, the music was.... existent?
It was shown at WCES in 1995 (think E3 but lamer), which is pretty much where all the information for this game comes from. Other than that, I can do my trademark analysis skills (TM). Because talent.
Let's see here.... there's some Shinto shrine and a, um, Wario crock-pot in the background... Yeah, I don't know.
3. Star Fox 2
You see, this is the part where I use a game's designated Wikia, but apparently the Arwingpedia suffered a vandalism attack (there was pornography posted, apparently. Eww.), I can't say much information. What I do know, however, is that the game was as close to completion as the space between these parentheses (). So yeah, it was pretty freaking close. It was cancelled for unknown reasons, but because it was practically ready for shipping, it became a popular online ROM and was sold as a ROM hack quite easily.
That's all the knowledge I have. Shut up.
2. The Legend of Zelda: Mystical Seed of Courage 
We literally know almost nothing about this game. You can tell because the only image proving it's existence is its logo in horrifically lo resolution.
It melts my retinas, the quality.
It was scrapped from issues in the debugging process and problems with how the three games interacted together. Other than the story, that's everything we know.

1. Sonic Extreme
Come on, you didn't think this was deserving the number one spot?
Sonic X-Treme is perhaps the most notorious cancelled game of all time. The game should have revolutionized 3D platforming, released around the same time as Super Mario 64 and *sigh* Bubsy 3D. ("Cuz what would a platfowum game be wiffut platfowums?") It was pretty much Super Mario Galaxy with Sonic slapped on it and it would probably have been way ahead of it's time.
The only known prototype, though, is in the hands of an anonymous collector, and the game will never see the light of day. The closest we got was Project S, a fan project to recreate the game, but even they give up. It must be a curse. (Plays Lavender Town theme song.)

Anyway, the Pokemon games are to come out in November. Can't wait! (fingers crossed.)

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