Sunday, March 9, 2014

Personal List: My Top 8 Hardest Super Mario Galaxy Stars

Let me be completely down-to-earth honest. Super Mario Galaxy was my first 3-D Mario game. Heck, the first Mario game I played was Super Mario Bros. 3 ADVANCE. I have no NES, SNES, N64, or even GameCube. I was thrown into the world of gaming with my brother's Game Boy Advance SP with nothing else. The first time I even played the original Super Mario Bros. was 2010, and that was with Super Mario All-Stars on the Wii.
As such, I had no experience with the frolicking. I grew up with sidescrolling Mario and didn't even know Super Mario 64 existed. All I knew was that Super Mario Galaxy was a BLAST. Even most Wii games and Wii U games can't live up to its graphics, gameplay, and amazing orchestral arrangements. It truly was a gem to define a generation.
But with that were some of the most painful levels I have ever played. Here are ten that still drive me to a state of insanity. Keep in mind that I omitted surfing, ball, and bubble levels, I didn't use the same galaxy for two stars, and stars from Super Mario Galaxy 2.
8. Dino Piranha Speed Run
So it isn't exactly that hard, I know. The problem comes in the fact that when I tried this for the first time, the short two and a half minutes I had to reach and defeat that blasted Piranha was anger-inducing. Dash across a bajilion planetoids, spin the living hell out of his rubbery tail, and grab the star. Simple on paper but hard for a newbie to execute.
Nowadays I can do this level blind-folded but I won't foret the first few rounds.








7. Bunnies in the Snow
The first few times you had to chase these cute bunnies down were cute and charismatic. The last mission to do so, however, is mind-bendingly evil. With two and a half minutes on the clock (this game loves that time, mind you), you chase down three stupid bunnies as you burn down snowmen, hit buttons, and break your Wii Remote. It shouldn't be hard, but the fact that there is snow everywhere leads to some fun back-and-forth running. I can't explain how many times I was duped by a trio of mocking bunny rabbits.
6. Purple Coins in the Desert
Let it be said that the only thing I hate more than desert levels are water levels. However, I found a lot of the water levels to be quite fun, ranging from Beach Bowl to Bonefin. (Oddly, they all seemed to all start with B: Beach Bowl, Bonefin, Buoy Base...) The main level isn't exactly difficult, and the purple coins level shouldn't be that hard either, but the annoying, ear-deafening music and quicksand turned it into a snoozefest. I would waste thirty minutes, only to drown in sand and try all over again.
5. Dreadnought's Garbage Dump
I have to agree with this level's title; it's a bunch of trash. You are tasked with throwing bombs at crates because this lazy pile of gears is simply too lazy. In addition, he gives you thirty seconds even though you agreed to help him do his chores. Does it add difficulty? Yes. Does it add fun? Everything but. Thankfully, this level didn't follow other similar levels and kill you if you failed, but the reward of one star is hardly even worth it.




4. Purple Coins on the Puzzle Cube
There are so many brutal purple coins levels, among them this little pain-fest from Gusty Garden Galaxy. Granted, there are more than 100 coins, but the mad-dash to collect 100 and then run all the way back to the starting point was pretty stressful. It's hard to say why this one is brutal in my opinion, perhaps because it was the first timed Purple Coin Challenge I ever did, but this one is the Devil.




3. Bouldergeist's Daredevil Run
I was at a HUGE dilemma. A HUGE one. (Type font jokes. They're dumb.) I had to decide between the fight with Bouldergeist or the 30-second crap-fest that is the Purple Coin challenge. While the Purple Coin one is probably the more difficult, I find Bouldergeist to simply be more challenging. You have one life and have to avoid getting thwacked by Mr. Jerk-Stone over here. It's hard to simply state how infuriating this challenge is, but another frustrating thing is that it comes so early in the game. This is what I expect after kicking some King Koopa butt, not after a freaking swim lesson with penguins! The transition from hotcakes to rage was suprising enough to throw me way off guard and fail time and time again. After dying twenty times, you are gonna wish that this abomination would implode into a bag of rocks that you could beat his bleeding corpse with.
2. Luigi's Purple Coins
Often cited as one of the most intense Mario levels in history, I have to agree. You take a three minute long trek to collect 100 coins around Luigi's, err, body. Sounds easy, right? NO. After falling into the bogs of hell, fallen through platforms, and twisted into oblivion, the star will pop up. BACK AT THE STARTING POINT. SO you best hope you made a clear trail or else your journey will be pretty rocky. I suppose it doesn't matter if you have to start all the way back at the beginning, right? It's not like you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into this level... Except for the fact that you totally did. It's okay, just lock the door and cry in the corner for a while. It might take some time.
1. A Very Sticky Situation
Where to even begin here? You've collected twenty stars and have been having a blast. Bee suit? No problem. Surfing lessons? Please. Rolling around? No issues?
Whuzzat? A Hungry Luma appears! Shoot him in the mouth a couple of times and he flies off, imploding into a new galaxy. That's when all heck breaks loose.
You hardly put your feet down for a minute, and the whole time you are on huge wads of gum, flying around, all the while avoiding cannonballs, spikes, and being careful not to set our Italian hero's rump ablaze. The most evil part? Towards the end stretch, you have to fly across four fire pillars. Time it too late and you're gonna be flying into a wormhole. When you are about to launch though, you die because Mario just barely touches his past obstacle, sending him falling down into the wild blue yonder. Cheap, Nintendo. That was just cheap.

...And I guess that's it. I hope you enjoyed! I will see you in about seven days, give or take. Until then, I guess!

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