Friday, February 14, 2014

The Beginning of the End: Bubsy

It's everybody's least favorite feline in video gaming. "What could possibly go wrong?"
EVERYTHING.

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For those of you unfamiliar with Bubsy, he was a video game mascot intended as to rival the popular icons, particularly Mario and Sonic. Did he succeed in his goal? Not even slightly. He lasted from 1993-1997, his greatest legacy the terrible game Bubsy 3D. You know it's awful if Wikipedia has it listed on it's "List of Video Games Notable for Negative Reception", wedged somewhere between Shaq Fu and Superman 64.
His earlier games weren't exactly horrible. It tried to merge elements of Mario and Sonic, but succeeded at neither. Bubsy runs around like he has oil lathered on his feet for Christ's sake! Combined with a short life span (one hit and he's dead), falling damage ("in a motherf*cking PLATFORMER?!" -JonTron), and the dumbest enemies to date (gumball machines and convertibles included) and you have an unusual game. The SNES sequel was moretheless the EXACT SAME, only marginally better.
And now, quiver in fear with Bubsy 3D. While many games made the smooth transition to the 3D realm, Bubsy took some serious damage. For a game that was released during the period of polygons (with such games as Super Mario 64, LoZ: Ocarina of Time, Kirby 64, Bomberman 64..... The list is endless.), it certainly puts the series at an all-time low. Hell, even he developers slapped a fake award on it and quotes from magazines that never existed. I guess it makes sense: have a horrible product? Trick poor suckers into buying your garbage! 
Seriously?! The graphics are completely unpolished and hideous. I swear I could slap up something sexier than that in Microsoft Paint!
(I'm talented!)
(I'm a decent artist, I just want to prove a point) See? Ish a perfect match! There's no question why there hasn't been a Bubsy game since; Bubsy is a shame to the video game community, and a perfect example of the absolute worst that could happen. Even Hotel Mario hasn't sunk to the level of terror that Bubsy 3D is. Don't believe me? Well, I guess that's fair.....


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