Saturday, January 18, 2014

Well, That Was a Weird Game (II)

Let's.
Cut.
To.
It.
Right.
Now.
Find the Invisible Cow
If there's one place in the world where finding invisible cows is extremely logical, it's the Internet. Basically, you try to find and click on the namesake "Invisible Cow" by following the hints of a narrator saying "Cow, cow cow, Cow, COW, COW,COW!" progressively louder the closer you get. It's just.... It's just borderline weird. I can't even rate it.

Waiting in Line 3D
This game takes all the fun of classic graphics and manages to combine it with the mundane reality of waiting in line. Our hero, most  likely named Bob, must stay awake for who knows how long, and must punch himself to stay awake, yet not as violently as to bludgeon himself to death. Again, I am literally speechless. I can't say anything.






GIF Dance Party
http://gph.is/1fejsiY (Just go there. We have cookies, I promise.)

Find Your Pokemon!
Less of a game and more of a resource, using intense logarithms of magical pixie dust, we can conclude than my magical Pokemon is an Omastar. Again, it's magical.
Is it a game? No, not necessarily. Still, it's fun, and now I'm inspired to raise Matthew Person II, a level 100 Omastar. So yeah. I give it an 8.0; it's fast, it's simple, and that's just it.











Cache Monet
To describe this game is as hard as trying to caress your gall bladder; you can't. Instead, sit back, relax, and watch some odd images, from purple cats and rotating Doritos to robotic sharks and Swedish flags. If that didn't make sense, you are in for such a delightful surprise. I give it an 8.1; strange, bizarre, and downright discomforting, you just can't help but continue watching the random pair-ups.
In The Bottle
In The Bottle is a drawing creation-thingy where you draw a picture and anybody can view it, vote for it, or haunt your life with a disturbing picture. There's not much to say, so here's a miniature top 10 list:
Top 10 Pictures That One Might Bare Witness To and Think About:
10. "I Love You": For some reason, people love expressing their romance with random strangers across the Internet. Huh.
9. Dot Drawings: I don't even know. Dot, dot dot.... ISH BUTIFULL.
8. Butt Pictures: What do you expect? It's the  Internet.
7. Abstractions: There is a fine line between contemporary art and garbage. But this.... This is.... well, it's garbage. Moving on.
6. Boobs: No, not a picture. Just the word "boobs". Yes, just that.
5. #PotatoFiveEver: I'm gonna start using that.
4. Landscapes: Because nothing is quite as enchanting as a picture of the Great Pyramids seemingly drawn by an infant.
3. Faces: Expect a lot of them; some good, some bad.
2. Penises: Again, this is the Internet. Get used to it.
1. A Bloody Vagina: Okay, hold the phone. That just crossed the line. For all of you who are perverted, take a peek. For all the innocents, this is the end of the stop. Either way, see you next time.








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