Sunday, December 8, 2013

Totally Random List Time! 12/8/13

You know, Halloween is coming up. Get ready to have a bunch of annoying little kids knocking on your doors and stealing candy from you. Okay, maybe not annoying, but demanding. Yeah, that's a better word. So,  I decided to bring back from the dead the Creepy Guys in Video Games issue. Of course, I need new material, and fortunately, people love having horrifying monstrosities in games, so here we go.

Now, on the original issue, I may have written it in red. You know, like blood. But I'm tring to go for even scarier. So this time....
(Oh yeah, and this issue is really late. Oops.)
(Oh yeah; and this issue is really short. Oops.)

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Before the fanboys come charging at me with no mercy and bludgeon me to death, need I remind you Sonic CD? The hidden message? Actually, there's a lot. We have Car Tails, Batman Sonic, DJ Eggman, and Sonic-with-creepy-glaze among others, respectively. But the creepiest? Dali Sonic. When entering a certain password on the sound test area, you will witness a screen with horrifying Sonics and a message signed "The Devil". I don't know what the intentions were, besides to get us to Jizz in our pants

Tingle isn't exactly scary. He's just...... disturbing. Not only does he have the whole green jumpsuit thing going on with him, but Kooloo-Limpa? What does that even mean? What is he hiding? TELL ME NOW TINGLE OR I SWEAR I'LL CUT YOU. Okay, that escalated quickly.
The point is, Tingle isn't creepy in regard to general scariness, it's just that he's so weird and disturbing.

Dark Shadow Guy from LSD
Oh, Japan. You guys make such unusual games. One such example is LSD. And before you go crazy, need I remind you it's an acronym for "Lovely, Sweet Dreams". Which is ironic, because the game is anything but. You are doomed to travel through a bizarre and uncomfortable world. Apparently, someone kept a "dream journal" and compiled the information into a game. And judging by the murderous teddy bears, women hanging, and spasm-ing vaginas, I don't think I want to meet the creator. But the guy who steals the cake? Mr. Black Suit or something. I don't know his name, but there's something oddly awkward about his presence  Here we are in a psychedelic hell, and there's just this normal guy walking around like he doesn't give a s%^t or something. The only reason he's creepy is because he sticks out like a sore thumb.

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