Saturday, September 21, 2013

Death of Hiroshi Yamauchi

I was, as mentioned earlier, trapped in a vortex for the past week. Unfortunately, I did not hear of the death of Hiroshi Yamauchi. The man was the former president of Nintendo from 1949-2002,  spanning from Arcade Games to the GameCube. The legacy died on the nineteenth of September of complications of pnemonia at the age of eighty-five. We will remember you.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Sorry for the inconvenience!

Okay, I have not been up to date lately. I tripped on the stairs, broke through the floor, fell into a time paradox, and drowned in a portal. Then I transcended into a land of toasters bubbling peanuts. Some floating bathtub hit me in the nards, yadda yadda yadda, here I am.

Anyway, in recent news, Miyamoto is still not dead (shut up, fake media), and Wind Waker HD caught the corner of my eye. So yeah, that's a thing.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Totally Random List Time! 9/13/13

All words shall be written in blood..... MWA HA HA HA HA- *cough cough*
Ermf. Anyway, it's Friday the Thirteenth. Well, the day after. Let's take a moment to recognize some creepy guys in video games....... Or else...............

Monoko, Yume Nikki
 A rather discrete game, Yume Nikki is a Japanese downloadable game about a girl who refuses to leave her room and must travel through her creepy dreams. Along the way,m she collects effects that alter her environment OR herself. That aside, adjourn yourself to the White Desert, a barren wasteland with mutilated body parts coming from the ground. enter a tunnel and you will find an innocent-appearing girl by the name of Monoko. Use the Spotlight Effect on her, and a shock video will ensue of her flying back and forth with whatever THIS abomination face-lift is.
 Those who have played this game would probably think, "Why not Uboa?" This is another fairly weird character where when you go in a room and turn off the lights, there's a slim chance a weird face will appear and you will be trapped in the room unless you touch him. The problem is, he's got the most derpy face-lift ever. So, Monoko. 
 What makes this creepier are the many fan theories of what the game is really about. My theory, as well as many others, is that the namesake character was in some sort of violent situation, possibly a car crash, explaining how this appears after using the Spotlight. This would also explain how she refuses to leave her room: out of fear. She possibly can't stand it anymore in the end and-SPOILERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS- jumps off the building and kills herself.

Otto, Berzerk
 A smiley face? Really, Ordinary Gamer? Well, look into those menacing eyes.... Nothing? Let's proceed.
 At the time, Berzerk was an immensely popular shooter. Back then, it was breathtaking. Nowadays, it looks like a bunch of rectangles and sprites. But back to the 1900s. This creep's job is to hunt you down. When the time runs low, this guys gonna try to kill you. And the creepy thing is, he killed two people. Supposedly. Apparently, once to teenagers reached the high score rank, they suddenly had heart attacks and died as Otto smiled from behind the glass. Also, it doesn't help he's a smiley face. That's pretty weird in itself and adds to the surreal quality of the idea of a smiley face out for you.

Everybody on the GameBoy Camera
This, by the way, is totally the picture from the game. No it's not, actually. This is my relative's dog in Pennsylvania. Pretty good picture, no?....... Fine, let's continue.
 If you liked gritty pictures from your GameBoy that you can deface, this sure-as-heck is the game for you. But that wasn't the weird part. There are options. One includes "Run Away." Click on it. Then, proceed to urinate in your pants, it's totally natural. A creepy picture of a defaced Grandma serial killer will pop up and say "What is there to run away from?", followed by a series of more disturbing images. It was every kid's nightmare to click on this. 

The Doctor from Hatoful Boyfriend
Hatoful Boyfriend is like any other dating simulator  But with one difference. It's kind of small, so you probably won't realize it....... You're a human dating pigeons. If you choose to fall for Shuu, a doctor, you don't do so well. He gives you a cooked bird that looks like his assistant, and among other things, in the end, he kills you with a cleaver. Even more confusing, how does a bird hold a cleaver? This guy was NOT the guy to go after. He's a cannibird: get it? Cannibal-bird? *dead silence.* Ugh, fine. Moving on.

Death from Hatoful Boyfriend
Oh yes. If you thought that Shuu was creepy, Hatoful Boyfriend is filled with really weird stuff. Yes, it's weird enough that you play a human girl amongst a bunch of talking pigeons. But if you fail to connect with the birds, you are kidnapped by a group that is monitoring you at all times as an experiment subject. Then, they assassinate you. You are confronted by a nightmarish vision of Death as a bird. This is odd because the usual cheery colors of the game contrast with this bloke's bleak palette.

The Fire Truck, Putt Putt series
Putt Putt is a kid's game. A point-and-click adventure filled to the brim with stupid characters, this creepy guy puts the "P" in Pedobear. One sentence: "Hey Putt-Putt. Wanna see my water hose?" Umm, no. Definitely not. 

There's a lot more creepy characters in video games, but I'll wait for the next Friday the 13th. Any suggestions? Let me know. 

Youtube Channel Now Open!

I have a Youtube channel. You can find it here. It's just somewhere to see a bunch of things I favorite, like, and comment on and all that stuff. Keep in mind I won't make any videos until I get enough support, as in a lot of blog pageviews and whatnot, so don't get your hopes up. This is just so you can figure out what kind of stuff is stuck in my head right now. See ya later, I guess.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Totally Random List Time! 9/6/13

what makes the decision to buy a game? Video game commercials. What makes you wonder what the heck was going on at Nintendo? Video game commercials. Here are a couple of What-the-F commercials.

Final Fantasy 4: Ikimasu!

It's no surprise that Japan makes some weird commercials. This one, a personal "What the heck were they thinking," involves a slightly excited announcer exclaiming "Final Fantasy  Four. Ikimasu!" (Let's go! in Japanese.) If you wonder what's so great about this commercial, look no further!

Something's Gone Wrong in the Happy-go-Lucky World of Nintendo.
Aww! Mario, Yoshi, DK, and Pikachu are skipping! So cute! Wait..... what are you doing Mario? That was a bit cruel..... HOLY CRAP! One of the first commercial to turn heads, cut it some slack. It at least made a bunch of gamers go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (if you know what I mean).

One word..... BAM! A shoot-out occurs. The best part? All of it. Just watch it. Please. Just.... okay?

Genesis Does what Nintendon't.
I was always a little bit more of a Nintendo fan. This commercial kind of made my blood churn. Nintendo didn't do much about Sega, but Sega "SURE AS HECK" loved a good trashing. Then there's this weird mosquito commercial, which is pretty bloody weird (literally). Then, they make fun of Mario Kart. What I guess I'm trying to say is, while I hate the in-your-faceness of Sega, their commercials are, I have a soft-spot for all of their dumb commercials.

So Soft.....
Oh do I love the bait-and-switch. Who could forget that Old Spice commerical of Terry Crews bursting into a laundry detergent commercial? Well Nintendo kind of beat Old Spice to the cake with this odd commercial. It was so successful that a group of scientists tried to rebuild him unsuccessfully. Poor Teddy.

Kirby. Not so Good at, Well, a Lot of Stuff.
Kirby had a good anniversary last year. What better way to celebrate than to question how good Kirby was at stuff in the real world. He hasn't quite got the hang of it yet. Keep trying Kirby! We believe in you!

Kirby. Good at Making his Opponents Suck it.
Kirby, once again, stole our hearts. He's in a race and his opponents can suck it. Literally. Kirby sucks really good. He's good at sucking. He sucks in the sucking. Go Kirby!

A Truly Touching Commercial.
I'm sorry, but Kirby knows how to make commercials. And this time, he plays God to a finger. A creepy commercial to say in the least, if not downright hilarious. I mean COME ON.

What the BLEEP is this?!
Oh, you Australians. Give a boy Jam Sessions and he'll start delivering the F-bomb on his mum. Weird. Word is there's more inappropriate commercials for games aimed towards younger audience. Come on YouTube........

You cannot beat us.
 This is one wet-my-pants commercial. I don't get it. I just don't. It's too weird for me.

Link's Freaking Dance-off.
Back to Japan, where the Hero of Hyrule starts busting a move. Maybe it would be more awesome if Link didn't look like an idiot. You can save Zelda, Link! Dance, Link, Dance! We have faith in you! Keep dancing!

Woah. Nice graphics!
If this wasn't one of the most stereotypical commercial of Americans, it sure was stupid. A grease-slick weirdo hangs with the most stereotypical nerd in the universe as they rap along to the Legend of Zelda. Why, Nintendo, why?
Why does this exist?

Puppet Shows.
I love this commercial. To recreate the epic game that is Link's Awakening, a commercial shows off the game as a horrible puppet show. The fighting scenes look like dance-offs. Walking around looks like dance-offs. EVERYTHING looks like dance-offs.

A great way to advertise a game is to show off how much your parents think it's horrible. This became so infamous for being the weirdest ad campaign EVER. And this lady isn't helping. I mean, she's all like "WAAAAAHH! LOOK AT THAT MONSTA!" How does this help sell a game? Nobody knows, but everybody loves this. Also there's an old lady who goes all crazy saying she'll bash us with a hammer. Deaugh.

Creepy Babies.
Oh, Playstation. Why such creepy commercials? Now I have a fear of mechanical babies. I mean what the heck is this? I'd probably have the same reaction as sponge cake kid if I saw this on my birthday. I mean SERIOUSLY.

PSP. I'd hit that.
I've already lashed on this enough. Just read my Quote of the Day section. It's a nut, that you can play outside. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

That's about it. Any more WTF's for me to go through? Let me know. Until next time.

Just Something Helpful

This new segment will, well, inform you of something that you may need. Missing a Pokemon? Need a code? Look no further! I'm here to help.

I spent quite some time looking for the GTS glitch. You go on a website, choose a Pokemon, and obtain it. Keep in mind I recommend only using it for Pokemon you NEED and have no easy means to get, like say Arceus or Darkrai or Mew. The website is right here:

Monday, September 2, 2013

Breaking News that you Probably Already Know) III

Before we begin, let this be a reminder that I do NOT get news as soon as it's released. I am more of a second-person source, so you'd probably find out before me if you snooped around enough.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In a joked-about twist, a new Nintendo gaming system was unveiled. Would it revolutionize gaming? Probably not. Would it change the shape of Nintendo's history? Again, probably not. But with the 2DS on the horizon, we have to question what is going on?
This device is set to be a cheaper 3DS-kind of system. It will not be capable of stereoscopic 3D effects and will be presented essentially as a slab.
Could this device be the next 3DS? Or a commercial failure like the Virtual Boy? I's been 2 years since the 3DS came out, and practically every Nintendo fan has one. So why a cheaper alternative, years after the initial release? It has no bonuses, some restrictions, and is not going to be as beloved as it's pocket-sized altar-ego.
Nintendo 2DS